


Inauguration: Wake-up Call

by scrollgirl



Series: Before the Inauguration [1]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-01
Updated: 2010-02-01
Packaged: 2017-10-06 22:19:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrollgirl/pseuds/scrollgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thursday morning, three days before Inauguration, and Sam is conspiring with Will Bailey to give Toby an ulcer. Set mid-"Inauguration: Over There".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inauguration: Wake-up Call

**Author's Note:**

> There's a loose sequel: [A splash quite unnoticed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/58324).

"H'lo?"

"Did you tell Will about what happened with the State of the Union?"

"What...? Umph, Toby? D'ya know what time it is over here?"

"Do I care?"

"Mm. What was the question?"

"Did you or did you not tell Will about the State of the Union!"

"Which State of the Union, Toby? We've had four."

"Don't play coy with me, Sam, you're not very good at it. Did you or didn't you tell Will about the last minute changes to the second State of the Union address!"

"Did I, when the man I asked to postpone his hard-earned vacation to help write the Inaugural address called me at one o'clock in the morning in acute distress over your painful rigidity in even _contemplating_ re-negotiating State's thoroughly cynical and un-American approach to foreign policy with the aim of putting a stop to the massacre of _tens of thousands_ of helpless Kundunese, tell him a story of how you once resolutely ignored the demands of a chicken-shit Democratic party and instead penned for the president an impassioned call to arms for all citizens to join in our common struggle for better government, for better lives, for a more perfect union?

"Yes, yes I did."

"You need a moment to breathe there, Quixote?"

"Funny you should call me that."

"How's that."

"Will's Sancho."

"God help me, you two."

"The cross you bear."

"Jew, here."

"Sorry."

"You should not have done that, Sam. You absolutely should not have done that."

"Well, I did and I'm not going to apologise for it."

"Sam, you know as well as I do that we don't have carte blanche to write whatever the hell we want! We're not at the Sandford club, we're not preaching to Amnesty International! This is the big leagues. We've got Miles Hutchinson breathing down our necks as it is, the Arab world poised to do God only knows what, a voting public that believes foreign aid is the reason their taxes are too high, and in this corner -- Will Bailey, talking back at the president!"

"Like you've never talked back at the president."

"Not three days before the Inauguration, I don't."

"You don't want the president off his game."

"You know how he gets, Sam."

"You know I know how he gets, Toby. I know all this."

"So why the hell did you tell Will about cutting the era of big government?"

"Well, first of all, we cut the _line_ 'the era of big government is over', not big government itself --"

"_Sam._"

"He was upset! All right? The death toll is 25,000 and counting, Toby. He was upset, and I wanted to make him feel better."

"Well, I don't! I don't care if Will is upset. I care if the _president_ is upset, because when the president gets upset, he starts quoting scripture and going on about unleashing God's wrath on the wicked oppressors, and we can't have that, Sam. We simply cannot have that."

"Look, I told him what happened, Toby. If you want to be mad at me for that, fine. But he's right, you know he's right."

"That's not the point. We can't do it, Sam."

"I know. All those reasons you listed? It's what I told him last night, after I told him about cutting the line. I told him we can't create foreign policy. It's not what we do."

"You better tell him again, Sam, because he's still not shutting up."

"If you want him to shut up, you'll have to tell him yourself."

"God. Hurry up and lose this election already."

"You miss me! That's sweet of you, Toby."

"It's really not. At least you usually obey me when I tell you to shut the hell up. With Will, I'm batting zero."

"My heart bleeds for you."

"Shut up."

"No. Hey, see what I did there?"

"I hate you."

"Okay."

"Come home already, Sam."

"Sorry, Toby. I'm a little busy running for congress at the moment."

"Right, another thing to blame on Will."

"I told you, it was an Aristotelian --"

"Sam, seriously? You need to let it go."

"It's genuinely not his fault that I decided to do this. You know that, right? He's a brilliant man and an inspired writer. I really hoped you would like him."

"Like him? Sam, this isn't the high school in-crowd."

"But do you think he's the wrong person for the job?"

"No, he's the absolute _right_ person for the job, if I can't have you, which is what kills me. He's smart, passionate, idealistic. Reminds me a little of somebody I know, only Will's slightly less of a pain in the ass."

"Right, after ten minutes of yelling."

"You want me to do a side-by-side comparison? You'd lose."

"I miss you too, Toby."

"You really need to be shutting up now."


End file.
